Monday, 15 February 2010

Empty Spaces

Heaven knows I’m a hypersomniac of the first order. There are few things I enjoy more than slipping into the warm embrace of my quilt at the end of a hard (which, like everything else in the world, is a relative term) day’s work.

The same old routine was repeated this Friday. A high-octane Meta v Mech football game and a three-hour sermon on desh bhakti by a topless Salman Khan left me drained, physically and mentally. Somewhere between all that, I even managed to sit through Choreo’s bizarrely-named event (Courante, for those of you who care), if only for a few forgettable minutes. By the stroke of midnight, I had well and truly earned my right to a good night’s rest. Another day in the life of Dela had just reached its inevitable end.

It was at this fateful moment that Long Legs, The Horniest One and Benarasi Babu broke into my room. Yours truly was shaken out of a wonderful slumber and invited on a pilgrimage to the holy Kumbh. Left having to make a tough choice between my quilt and a place in heaven, I did the one thing any normal man in my place would have done- toss a coin. Alas, tails it was, and I was off on my way to Haridwar, knapsack on my back.

For some reason, pilgrimages inevitably evoke images of The Canterbury Tales in my mind. The latest expedition, though, was as distant from that historic journey as it could possibly be. Our bags had deserted us even before we set foot on the Holy Land. The police did all they possibly could to make our 5 kilometre journey seem like a marathon. Our shoe-string budget also meant that we would have to make do with a modest brunch of Coke and Kurkure. Nevertheless, true-believers that we were, we walked. We walked until our until muscles burned and our veins pumped battery acid. Then we walked some more.

A little past six PM yesterday, I was back in my bed, with more memories of the twenty-odd kilometre walk than the holy dip that it culminated in. Somewhere along the way, my sandals came apart after stubbornly holding their own in the face of so daunting a task for an entire day. I can barely feel my limbs at the moment. My neck is currently the only freely mobile part of my body. Touch wood. My laptop is busy gathering cobwebs amidst a stack of newspapers in one corner of my room, which means that Anita Nair's Good Night and God Bless is, for now, my sole source of entertainment. In the meantime, the Minion has been kind enough to remind me that the Mid Sems are less than a week away. As far as my BTP goes, the lesser said, the better.

On the brighter side, I will be heading to heaven at the end of all this.


The Decayed Canine said...

I know that battery-acid-circulating feeling. Good to know that you didn't miss the Kumbh!
And hilarious post Dele, keep 'em coming! :D

Anunaya Jha said...

I like!
Great to have you back on blogspot after a sabbatical!

Murty said...

This is what you kept me waiting for? Ack, Dile, midsems are two days away!

Chronoz said...

Meesa always thought you had to stay up all night during Shivarathiri to reach the portals of heaven. Oh! Well, hope you don't get stranded somewhere in between.

And I concur with Murthy, "Idhukka evvolo build up?".

raghav said...

As for the battery-acid-circulating feeling- Been there done that.
Oh and yes,wasn't really aware of the build up, but seemingly you put a lot of random getthu :P

buy american platinum said...

Great to know that you are now back.This is a very nice come back blog.

mK said...

Last I heard, you had gotten placed somewhere. Ah yes, Future First. Unless you want to become the first among us to go to hell, hasten with your grand chapo Dele.
And of course, hilarious post! Enjoyed it a lot.

Anonymous said...

Your quest fr heavens will never end, ryt? I mean, u wer among east european girls, 2 months back!!

And don't think they would let you remain in the real heaven for very long either... unless ofcoz, you are a bit more benevolent about chappos!!

Btw, fokkiyap end! Kudos!

Saagar said...

I ensured I avoided Haedes 10 years ago, when Kumbh happened in Prayag.
Though technically, a dip in the holy waters only washes your sins, you don't get blessings. So basically, you've just started on a clean sheet. Which I'm sure has been soiled by now.

Anirudh Arun said...

Even the Ganga can't do that much, Dela! A dip in the holy water merely washed your shins... Sins remaining intact, you're doomed to purgatory, if not hell.

Prachi said...

Fourth Year sounds like fun here...maybe there is a brighter side to it...what with the BTP and the sentiyaapa!
Really liked the ending...

Anonymous said...

@PTV, PPT, Shagga, Buy American Platinum (?)

@Murta, Shreyas
Build-up? What build-up?

@mGay, Raka
Old habits die hard, minions. Dela and chapo can never be used in the same sentence.

Faith can move mountains, dear minion.

Soiled more than once, I'm afraid, perhaps as a consequence of the CAT result- all I could do was sit and mope.

It is fun initially. Eventually, it gets to you. Trust me, there is such a thing as too much free time.